Marriage is defined as a legally recognised union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, which brings about joy and happiness and is a celebration of a start to a new family. But it also brings along the social evil called the Dowry System and there is no doubt that it is still prevalent in the 21st century, where science and technology have achieved many milestones. We are here, still struggling with a society which believes in giving dowry due to religious or social constraints or in order to establish a status symbol, in a society where people consider marriage as a golden opportunity to earn money.
Dowry is given in the form of cash, car, jewellery, furniture, kind, etc. which is basically given in order to make the newly married couple financially stable, since the newly married bride and groom do not earn enough in order to meet all their needs. But this does not justify the practice of dowry, if financial support is to be provided then it should be from both the sides and not just the bride’s.
Dowry is considered as a compensation of giving an educated boy who takes the family’s burden—girl, forever. A girl is always considered as a burden to the society and therefore, when they attain a certain age, parents believe in marrying them off by agreeing to pay the amount that pleases the groom’s family. But this is not a one-time thing. The bride is tortured and physically abused if she is not able to meet the demands later on.
The groom cannot be held wholly responsible for this practice. Showing off is among the various causes of the Dowry System. In today’s world competition can be seen everywhere, people want to beat others due to which they celebrate lavish weddings, give luxurious gifts and expensive assets in order to show off their social standing and please the society which results in putting them in financial crises.
Status of women is one of the main causes. A society where women are considered to be weak and a burden to the family, marrying them off is the only way of getting rid of them. Social structure has set its own parameters, in which men are considered superior to women in all aspects and it leads to low self esteem in women and their believing in the fact that girls are a burden on the society which ultimately gives rise to problems like domestic violence, female foetecide, gender inequality, etc.
One very common cause is the social and religious constraints, that leads to reduction of boys for marriage due to prohibition of inter-caste or inter-religion marriages and leaves the bride with limited options, and in order to get rid of the burden, the bride’s family agrees to provide dowry.
A recent case of opposing the social and cultural beliefs can be taken from the Kanjarbhat community, where the couple faced social boycott for opposing the practice of virginity test for women. This shows that there is a pressure to adhere to such beliefs, customs and practices without questioning them due to which people blindly follow these social norms without busting the myth.
Lack of education or lack of awareness is the root cause of the Dowry System. Girls are not sent to schools, since the society fears the fact that an educated girl won’t adhere to their unreasonable demands and will fight for her rights. Since childhood, girls are taught all the household chores and spend their entire life being a good wife, pleasing their husbands in all possible ways. Even today, people are staunch believers of the fact that household work is women’s work and a working lady should keep aside all her dreams and aspirations after getting married or after having a child.
The problem of Dowry System, does not end after giving dowry, it actually starts from there.
The curse of Dowry System leads to problems like financial burden on the bride’s family. Parents spend all the money they saved for years on their daughter’s wedding and gifts to please the groom. They take loans and debts from all possible sources which ultimately results in lower standards of living.
It gives rise to corruption, a more widespread social evil. The bride’s family, in order to provide dowry, voluntarily or under pressure borrows in order to fulfil the demands. The need of money forces them to take bribe, indulge in unfair and unlawful activities and meet the demands through black money.
One of the most tragic and painful issues that the Dowry System gives rise to, is domestic violence, which is no less than an agonising death. Girls who don’t fulfil the groom’s demands are tortured and beaten till death. Girls go through a lot of trauma, both mentally and physically. When they do not comply with such irrational demands, they are rejected, abused, tortured and killed. This leads to complete injustice towards girls, which again forces them to believe that they are a burden to their family, and commit suicide under intense emotional stress in order to lighten the burden of the family.
This evil system puts in the mind of the society that boys should be given preference over girls which leads to gender inequality, which further gives birth to problems like female foetecide that ultimately leads to the problem of gender imbalance.
There are several ways to stop this injustice towards girls; the most important amongst them is education. Education plays a very important role in empowering women; it helps them to stand on their own feet; it inculcates confidence in them and enables them to independently take decisions and fight for their rights.
Gender equality is very important in order to get an equal stature for women. This can only be achieved when the mindset of the society will change; when awareness is spread of how women have achieved milestones in all spheres of life and that they are no less than men.
Many laws have been passed in order to protect the women from domestic violence like Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005, to stop the practice of this dowry system by The Dowry Prohibition Act 1961, but these also have loopholes. The exchange of assets is not monitored voluntarily and lack of proper investigation procedures is the reason why the Dowry system still prevails, which means that the laws have been passed but have not been implemented strictly. Such laws must be strictly implemented so that the people fear while taking its name. There should be no tolerance policy in such cases.
Finally, it’s all about women and their fight for equality and justice which will be achieved only if the society understands that a woman is water and the society is the fish, just like the fish cannot survive without water, the society can’t survive without women. The practice of Dowry System will diminish by overhauling of mindsets, which won’t happen in a day or two but will take quite some time for people to accept the bitter truth.